Symphonies and Sleepovers

A Quick note:

Later in this chapter Bella sings a song called "Gravity." It's a beautiful song that belongs to Sara Bareilles. I strongly suggest you listen to it prior to reading or at the very least while you’re reading. The chapter will make more sense if you do. Here's a direct link to it on YouTube to make things easier: "Gravity"

December

We sat side by side in the full sun. That was one of the many perks of Florida living: the scattered warmth of December days. That Saturday was one such day. Edward's bronzed chest glistened in the sun, the dips and swells of his muscled physique a feast for the eyes. Masen had been commandeered by his beloved grandparents and whisked away to the land of happy mice, singing princesses, and "Happily Ever Afters." AKA: Disney World. They assured us that they would have the squirt back in time for Cullen Family Sunday Dinner the next night. Until then, it was just Edward and me. And Mr. Darcy, who was working on his winter tan as well.

The man I loved had informed me a little earlier in the day that he'd bought us tickets to see the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra perform the Holiday Pops. Every year they brought in a big named artist to feature. This year it was Harry Connick, Jr. I. Fucking. Love. Harry. I was floored when he told me. I literally squealed and bounced around the house. Darcy jumped along with me, even though I'm sure he didn't have a clue what we were celebrating. Edward calmly informed me that this was not my Christmas present. That would come on Christmas. This was a spur of the moment night out on the town; just us.

His undergrad students were required to attend a number of musical events and write a paper connecting something they were studying in the course with the performance they had seen and attach their ticket stub as proof of their attendance. This counted as a lab of sorts, and their final grade was dependent on their attendance at such events. This particular event would be considered "extra credit" due to how late in the semester it was. The thought of my tattooed, chopper riding, sex haired man standing at the front of a lecture hall expounding the finer points of advanced music theory to a bunch of underlings did wild things to my nether regions. I decided it would be fun to do wild things to Edward's nether regions, and used that opportunity to play with him a little. You know, like a cat plays with its prey?

"So, can I earn a little extra credit, Professor?" I leaned over to him and trailed my fingers down his bare arm as we sat on my roof deck.

"Fuck, Bella! You keep calling me 'professor' and you're gonna get a fuckton of 'extra credit'!" His voice was teasing, but the look he gave me was clearly warning me that I was on shaky ground. One wrong step and he would see to it that I paid for my wanton ways. Rather than heed his warning I decided to completely ignore it and see how far I could push him. This was always fun. For me, at least.

I moved from the chair I was sunning in and lowered myself sideways into the space between his outstretched legs, my own draped playfully over his arm, trapping it against the arm of his chair. He wrestled it free and cupped it around my bare legs that were slick from perspiration and sunblock.

"Oh, really? How much is a 'fuckton,' exactly? Would that maybe bump my classroom participation grade up to an 'A,' Professor?" My voice started out teasing, but turned seductive when his hand began to slide up and down my outer thigh. It suddenly felt like someone had turned up the heat; the sun beating down much hotter than it had been only moments earlier.

"The term 'fuckton' is a genuine unit of measurement, Ms. Swan-"

"Uh, actually, it's Dr. Swan. I fucking earned those three little letters after my name, thank you very much, Professor."

"Oh, well, excuse me then, Dr. Swan. The term is an actual unit of measure, used to describe an inordinate amount of something. As you can ascertain, fuckton more than quantifies the level of compensation you'll earn. Providing you continue along this course of study." I'm not exactly sure the why of it, but Edward's "professor voice" had me squirming in my, uh, his seat. It was one thing for him to talk dirty and say bad, naughty things to me, but to go all higher education on me just wasn't playing fair. Granted, I wasn't playing very fairly either, but this was my game at the moment. My game, my rules.

I brushed the tips of my fingers up along his arm and across his chest; swirling them around his nipples and carefully tracing the path the ink on his skin made. He hissed in a breath when I made contact with the sensitive skin there.

"Well, now. Those are some pretty big words for a chopper riding hellion to be spouting, Mr. Cullen."

"Actually, it's Dr. Cullen. I fucking earned those three little letters after my name, as well, Dr. Swan."

It seemed that he had decided that two could play at my game of cat and mouse; his hand ghosted slowly over my upper thigh to the softer skin on the inside of my leg. Goose bumps rose up along the trail his hand forged. His lips joined in the assault, nipping and pressing at my shoulders. I felt the hair at the nape of my neck stand alert as if awaiting a signal from him to begin tingling. Like some form of sexual Morse Code. Except instead of dots and dashes he used kisses and caresses.

I leaned into his chest, affording me access to his neck. I mimicked every move he made. If he kissed, I kissed. If he licked, I licked. I matched him suck for suck. Each nip of my ear was answered with a nip of my own on his. We were both moaning and humming in pleasure. Slowly I turned to face him, straddling him as he sat back against his lounge chair. My knees came up alongside his hips, his hands encircling them and guiding them. When I lowered my weight down onto him we both gasped at the contact. Edward's hips rose up to meet mine, and he ground his hardening length against me. My hand wove into his silken hair as I pressed down hard where we met, and the sound that rumbled from his chest was deep and feral. The air was filled with the sounds of our bodies taking their pleasure, each from the other. Our breaths came in pants and gasps, our bodies moving against each other as I worked myself over his hard length. Edward's hands made a tangled mess out of my hair; his hips shifted to meet mine. His hands traveled down over my shoulders, to my back, and as they slid around to cup my breasts I arched back into his touch. He pealed back the lycra scraps that covered the aching skin there and replaced them with his mouth and hands. I groaned in pleasure as he hummed against my chest.

I felt the delicious tightening of my impending release, and just as I began to lose myself to the ecstasy that was within my grasp, the beast that lay sleeping quietly a few feet away leapt up from his spot. He rushed to the railing at the front of the house, barking and growling to alert us that we had visitors. It was then that I heard a car door slam shut. My eyes flew open and met Edward's equally surprised look.

"Were you expecting someone?"

"No. I have no clue who that could be," I shrugged. Our faces were mere inches from each other, our breathing mingling the air from our lungs.

"Well, it sounds like we have company." Just then the door bell sounded through the house. "We'd best go see who it is."

"Maybe if we ignore them they'll go away," I tried to reason with the man beneath me, but he insisted that we investigate.

"Let's just go see who it is, then we can send the fuckers packing and get back to where we were. Deal?"

I had no desire to see who was interrupting my mad dry humping and the debut of "Best Fucking Orgasm in the History of Orgasms!" Well, I had no idea if it was or wasn't that, but I'd never know now, because the moment was rapidly shifting and the mood was slipping.

"Fine, let's get this over with, but I swear, if it's my mom or your brother Emmett, I cannot be held responsible what I may or may not do to whoever is on the other side of that door.”

Edward eased me off his lap, retying my bikini top, and we both headed down the stairs to the front door, Darcy close on our heels.

"Sweetie, if it's any one of our family members on the other side of that door, then I will personally hold them so you can exact your revenge." He turned at the landing to quickly kiss me. The form that was visible through the glass of the front door was huge, and for a second I thought it might be Emmett. Edward opened the door to a very large man who was definitely not the Asstard. Turns out, it was just a wayward traveler, looking for the neighbors across the street, had the address mixed up, and extremely unfortunate timing. We pointed him in the right direction and closed the door behind him.

"Where were we?" I asked, wrapping my arms around my man. Those strong hands of his rested on my hips as I drew near to him and gently kissed him.

"Ummm, baby... as badly as I want to continue exactly where we left off, I'm afraid that it's getting late and we have to get ready for the symphony."

I whined hearing him overrule my suggestion. I literally whined like a three year old not getting their way. "Please, sweetie? We can squeeze in a quickie right? Ten minutes. Fifteen tops. Please, Mr. Sex-on-a-stick?"

"Sex on a stick?"

Edward's laugh was not the reaction I was hoping for, but it was the one I got. I failed to see what the fuck was so funny about this situation. Here I was, nearly naked and throwing myself at my hot as hell boyfriend who, by the looks of the bulge in his board shorts, was obviously as horny as I was, and the man was turning me down? Frustration was the predominant emotion coursing through my system and I was losing patience. That must have been pretty clear to Mr. Sexy Stick, 'cause he hugged me close to him as he whispered promises into my hair.

"Baby, I wish we could, but we need to get moving if we want to make it on time. What if I promise that when we get back here tonight you will have a night worth waiting a few hours for?"

"Worth it, how?"

"You want details?" I nodded against his chest. "Well, I'm sure we can come up with some ideas between now and then. You know I'm always open to suggestions and requests. Have any?"

"Actually, yes, I do."

"What's that, babe?"

"You, me, naked, now."

"You are a vixen, Dr. Swan. I promise you by the time tomorrow comes you will have lost count of how many times you came. Now, get that pretty ass up those stairs and showered. I'm going to get my stuff from the car and make a few calls. You'd best be finished showering by the time I get up there in thirty minutes or that fine derrière of yours is going to get smacked. Now go!"

His hand made contact with the bare skin peeking out from my bikini with a clap. Knowing defeat when I saw it, I pouted as I headed up the stairs. At the landing I turned and slowly untied the strings of my top. I threw the scraps of material at him, his eyes growing wide at the sight of my bare breasts. The top hit him square in the face and draped over his head.

"Vixen. That's my new name for you. Evil, little Vixen."

"That's Dr. Vixen to you." And with that I flew up the stairs to take a shower and try to compose myself for the long evening ahead of us.

~oOo~

I was excited about the Symphony. My excitement was increased exponentially at the thought that I'd be attending with Edward. Throw in Harry and there was little that could make the evening more perfect. Except for the promises made to me in my foyer; that come the breaking of the next dawn, my body would be completely and utterly ravaged, satiated, blissed out.... Well, you get the idea.

Unfortunately, one minor detail was putting a tiny damper on my fantastic mood. And that was the very important question that kept popping up in my head: What the hell was I going to wear? So I did what any girl in my predicament would do; I called my best friend. Alice was at the house in less than the seven minutes I knew it should take to get here. Mention a fashion crisis and the woman had inhuman speed. I no sooner had the door opened to her and she was dragging me up the stairs to my closet. After taking two steps into my closet and turning a full 360 degrees, she reached out her hand and plucked a dress I'd never worn from the rows of clothes hanging before her. It was perfect. Why I hadn't seen it when I stood in that very spot was a mystery, but St. Alice had come through for me. Once again.

After a few suggestions for how I should wear my hair and which shoes to pair with the perfect dress, the whirlwind was gone just as quickly as she had come. The roar of her purple chopper crashed through the open french doors in my bedroom as she sped off.

Edward was in the shower, his tux hanging in the bathroom steaming out any minor wrinkles it may have acquired from hanging in his BMW. Turns out the man had a well thought out plan. I’m glad one of us had thought ahead.

I sat at my vanity in my short satin robe and quickly did my hair and makeup. I kept it simple, pulling my hair up off my neck to show off the back of the dress. I remembered finding the dress and falling so in love that I wasn't able to leave the boutique without it. I hadn't had an opportunity to wear it yet. It was red: the color of passion, love, life. The soft draping of the jersey begged to be touched, and I hoped that Edward would spend the evening running his hands along the folds of material. It was one-shouldered and sleeveless, hitting just below my knee. I stood in my closet in front of the full length mirror as I stepped into the dress and then slipped on the strappy heels Alice suggested I wear. The jersey hugged all the right places, making my ass look spectacular. The scraps of black fabric that I was calling undergarments were meant as more of a delicious surprise for Edward later. I came into the bedroom just as the bathroom door opened and Edward appeared in a casual cut, grey, almost metallic tux. The skinny black tie tied loosely around his neck made it seem a little more casual. His hair was still slightly damp and his jaw was as scruffy as when he'd gone in to shower. My mind immediately went to how the raspy fuzz would feel against my most tender skin. He looked amazing. We noticed each other at the same time; I acknowledged his utter hotness with a "wow" and he playfully whistled his approval of my look.

I walked to him and tightened his tie without a word. His hands did not disappoint and began rubbing and fingering the folds of fluid fabric just as I'd hoped they would. Sparks and electricity were flying around the room. Edward cleared his throat, "Uh, I think we'd best be going, before we start coming." How do you not laugh at that? I disintegrated in to a fit of laughter. The tension of the moment broken, we collected my wrap and purse and Edward grabbed his keys. The ride to the concert hall was bound to be a very long and painful one.

~oOo~

Edward valeted left the car with the valet at the hall. A uniformed man opened my door and helped me out. Another greeted Edward as he climbed out and I half expected him to give the guy some type of warning to take care of his precious sports car that had recently earned a nickname from me. Instead, he just grinned and nodded politely; wishing the valet a kind "good evening."

"Wow," I couldn't help but comment, "that was impressive."

"What was? Having the car valeted? We really need to get you out more, Bella." His voice was light and teasing. I shook my head at his remark. Smart ass. The walking tower of sexy guided me to the entrance by pressing his ever so talented hand to the small of my back.

"I was referring to your self control back there. You didn't even growl or mush your face up at the valet. I was prepared to witness some ridiculous sort of display of male dominance. You actually seemed as though you trusted them with the Back Dagger. I'm kinda proud."

"Please, beautiful, I'm not a Neanderthal; I know how to behave myself. Besides, he was an older gentleman. I'm sure he's been doing this a long time and I have nothing to worry about."

"Ahhh, the truth comes out! You don't really trust anyone with your car, but you'll distrust an old guy a little less than a pimple faced teen? Ageism, Dr. Cullen. Pure and simple."

"Hush it, Swan." Then he whispered, "Don't make me discipline you in public." My eyes bulged in mock surprise at his threat. His easy laugh rang out, making me smile as well.

We walked up the several lushly carpeted stairs at the entrance of the Times-Union Center, and were greeted by an usher who warmly welcomed us and asked to see our tickets. Upon noting that our seats were located in one of the boxes, the tuxedo clad usher directed us to the grand staircase that wound up to the second level. The highly polished banister ran like silk under my hand as we ascended the gentle curve of the stairs. At the top was a cash bar, and Edward offered to get us a drink before we went in. I opted for a glass of Riesling while he ordered a Jack, straight up. We finished our drinks with plenty of time to spare, and were escorted to our seats, which were freaking amazing, by the way.

"Professor Cullen," both of our heads turned in the direction of the female voice that had called out to Edward. It took a moment, but he recognized who it was that had called his name. He asked the usher to wait a second, and guided me over to a petite brunette in a stunning black cocktail dress.

"Hello, Bree. It's nice to see you here."

"Hey, Dr. C. I wouldn't miss this! It's Harry Connick, Jr. after all!"

"Yes, my date feels the same way. Let me introduce you to the softer side of me: Bree, this is Dr. Bella Swan. Bella, this is Bree Tanner. Bree is one of my students in both my Elementary Music Methods and Music History classes, hon. One of my favorites."

"Pft! You're not supposed to have favorites, Professor. You just like that I actually listen during class, turn my assignments in on time, and don't give lame ass excuses like some of your other students."

"True."

"It's nice to meet you, Dr. Swan. Dr. C has mentioned you in class several times."

"Oh, has he now? I can only imagine what this man has said about me in class."

“Well, except for that one incident he told us about, it's all been very positive." Bree winked at me and grinned brightly at Edward.

This kid was a gem; she had a natural, easy way about her. The educator and musician in me wondered if she had exceptional talent. It was a logical question seeing as she was one of Edward's students. He was well known as being a professor who challenged his students. If you received an A in one of his classes then you had worked your ass off to earn it. I wanted to remember to ask Edward more about her later. That young woman had made quite an impression in a very short amount of time. She seemed like someone I'd like to have in my classroom for her internship when the time came.

We had to get to our seats; the usher had stood patiently waiting to escort us to our box. We told Bree to enjoy the concert and she returned the sentiment. The seats Edward had reserved were in the frontmost box. I was looking forward to this performance to the point of being nearly giddy! When the lights came down and the curtain went up I was already on the edge of my seat. The gorgeous man next to me had his arm across the back of my seat, the tips of his fingers brushed back and forth across the bare skin of my neck and shoulder. The electricity of his touch coupled with the intensity of the music had me hyper-charged. I felt as though every nerve ending in my body was vibrating and humming.

The music moved over us in waves. All too soon the performance was over and we were heading home. Although I couldn't really complain; Edward had made sure that I was more than ready to leave the smexy Harry Connick, Jr. when the last note was played. The touch-ability of my jersey dress paid off nicely; he couldn't keep his hands off it or me. By the time intermission rolled around I was practically begging him to sneak off somewhere and service my "needs."

He purred at me, "What 'needs' would those be, love?" I got the distinct feeling that he was mercilessly teasing me. Hell, a blind man would have known exactly what I was referring to, and would've jumped at the chance to fulfill them.

"Oh. Okay. So you aren't gonna help me out here? That's fine. Really, it is. I can take care of this myself. I'll just be a few minutes ...."

I turned towards the ladies' room, mentally trying to decide if I was going to actually "take care of things" or just bluff, when he grabbed my arm, pulling me back. I slammed into his chest, surprising us both.

With his mouth pressed to my temple he breathed, "I don't think so. That's my job, and I plan on doing a damn good one, just not until we're somewhere I don't have to worry about how much noise my vixen is making. Wouldn't want to upset any old ladies now, would we?"

"Of course not. Wouldn't want us to be the death of some old bitty. But I hope you realize that I have very high expectations for tonight."

"Really? Like what? Give me an example."

"Well, I do have a magic number."

"And that would be...?"

"Four. I think four is the most magical number I can think of." I grinned innocently at Mr. Sexy Stick.

"Four? Why four? Why not five or six?" His eyes narrowed, studying my reaction. I was hyper aware of the trails his fingers were burning up and down my arms.

"I wouldn't want to be greedy. Let's just shoot for four, and if you feel particularly energetic then we can work on a higher total. Deal?"

"Well, I have always been an over achiever, Dr. Swan, but four sounds like a good

number to start with."

He smirked, very pleased with himself for having snuck in the last word before we had to return to our seats for the second half of the performance. I may or may not have trumped his "final word" when I accidentally palmed his very obvious erection as I slid into my seat. I took his moan as a white flag of sorts. We both behaved ourselves for the rest of the symphony.

The ride home was a different story. It's amazing what can be accomplished when one is a master at multi-tasking. By the time we made it into my driveway we were both panting and he was working on number two. My choice of undergarments seemed to have impressed him. I gathered that impression when he slipped his free hand under the hem of my skirt while waiting at a stop light. The hiss he sucked in when his fingers brushed the lace kinda gave his feelings away.

Oh, for the love of all things long and talented, this man can do magical things with his fingers!

But I'd known this since that first day in my classroom. A moan purred in my chest, "Magical..."

"What's that, baby?" The man smirked as he used his magical hands, er, hand to do deliciously sinful things to my lady bits. I slid down in the leather seat to allow his talented digits better access to their medium. Namely, me. I tried to be "quiet" as I felt the familiar feeling of my imminent release growing tighter, but I wasn't winning that battle.

"Don't hold back, Bella. Let me hear you. I want to hear what I do to you."

As if I could ever refuse the man when his hand was buried knuckle deep in my nether region. His fingers curled and hit that spot that drove me mad and I couldn't contain the cry that escaped.

"That's it, let me hear you. Is this good, Bella? Should I continue?"

"Oh, god, Edward! Yes!" My moans grew louder as the feeling got tighter and tighter, until, with one final cry there was a snap deep within, and it felt like every muscle in my body was quaking and rippling. "Oh, wow. Baby. Thank you. That was intense," was all I managed to eek out between pants and purrs.

"Maybe so, but it was just number one." And, as always, his timing was perfect as we turned into my drive. "I believe we have a magic number we need to achieve tonight. Shall we go in and continue where we left off?" I nodded my complete agreement, seeing as I wasn't really capable of forming actual sentences. Edward helped me from the car, and I curled into his side.

Once inside we went straight to up my room. Shoes were kicked off before the front door was closed and locked. Our bodies were drawn to one another like magnets. We only separated enough to strip each other of our clothes. By the time we made it to the bedroom Edward was gloriously naked and all I had on was my carefully chosen lingerie.

The matching bra and panty set seemed to be a winning choice if I were judging their appeal according to the look on Edward's face. I backed up and lowered myself down onto the bed. The view of watching that man as he crawled up between my legs was spectacular. Like a tiger, he glared at me as if I were something to devour. Without a word he grasped the front of my black thong and pealed the offending scrap of material from my body. Then he unceremoniously chucked it over his shoulder. He stopped and stared at my bare flesh, and the look on his face sent a bloom of goose bumps across my skin. Edward's lips grazed the image embedded in the skin above my hip, almost worshipfully. He began licking and sucking, alternating with kisses. He moved across to the other side before returning to the middle, just below my belly button. Slowly, purposefully he traveled down over the soft curves of my body with his mouth. One hand grasped my hip, holding me in place, while the other freed a breast from its lacy prison.

Our sounds filled the room, none of them intelligible. All were mere acknowledgments of what we were doing to each other. He lifted my leg and rested it on his shoulder as he planted his kisses along my inner thigh, which was now next to his face. My fingers buried themselves deep in his hair, pulling and tugging at the roots. I tried desperately to direct him, but he had his own agenda. When he felt like he'd tortured me long enough, and had me panting and begging, he mercifully used that beautiful mouth of his to bring me to the halfway mark. My back arched off the bed in ecstasy as I screamed his name.

The cocky SOB chuckled against my inner thigh. "You're welcome." His tone was so arrogant. I felt it was my duty to keep him humble.

"Dr. Cullen, you seem pleased with yourself, but you're only half way to that Magic Number. Think you can finish the job?"

"Are you questioning my abilities to follow through, Swan?"

"Well, I do have my doubts...." The teasing ended there. The deep sound that erupted from his chest was a warning. Whether it was warning me that I was in dangerous

territory or warning me about what was to come I wasn't quite sure. Probably both.

His green eyes never left my brown as his body covered mine. I could feel him poised at my entrance. Then he commanded, "No more talking, unless it’s you crying out my name. Very loudly."

I nodded my silent obedience as his mouth roughly covered mine. He tugged at my bra. "Off," was his one word demand and I complied quickly. He was immediately attentive to the newly bare skin as soon as the offending piece of lingerie was removed.

He pushed into me slowly as he lavished the pink tips of my breasts. I cried out as the sensation of him filling me overtook my ability to think. When his hips were finally flush with mine he began to move unhurriedly, each push and pull deliberate. I felt my body tense as he stroked me.

"Edward," I breathed. "Edward, more, baby... please?"

He quickened his pace, bringing me closer to the sweet release of my orgasm. Concentrating on the task at hand, he buried his head into my neck, where his tongue licked my sensitive skin. He could feel my body responding to his increased passion. He begged me to let go, and with a few more hard thrusts I did just as he'd asked.

Waves of pleasure flowed throughout my body. I had never experienced an orgasm that intense before. My climax spurred him on. Grabbing my hips, he angled them up to penetrate deeper and deeper with each thrust. The intensity and depth of his frenzy was overwhelming. Just as I was coming down from number three, number four ripped through my body. And cry his name I did -- repeatedly as he came with me. Powerful, intense, shattering.

Between pants the arrogant voice of my lover breathed, "Numbers three and four. Now who's cocky?"

"You are, baby. You are."

~oOo~

A few days later Edward and I were snuggled in the shade of his balcony after dinner. I was nestled in front of him, my head resting on his chest. The gentle beating of his heart was like a lullaby, coaxing me to drift off in his arms. We were watching as Masen and Darcy played in the sand on the beach below us. The sounds of their laughter and joy floated up to us. I turned to have access to my lover's mouth. He returned the kiss, our lips softly playing off one another. Tender. Loving. Slow.

"Hey! Guys! Watch this...!" Masen's excitement drew our attention immediately.

"Watch what Darce can do!" Masen commanded the beast to "stay," then walked a few feet from him. He then sent a Frisbee arching through the sky; hunching over as he released it. "GO, DARCY!"

The horse of a dog broke into a full gallop, and just as it looked like he was about to bowl into Mini, he launched off the soft sand and glided over the kiddo's bent back. The mammoth animal flew through the air like a gull, gripping the plastic disk in his jaws as they both succumbed to gravity's pull. Darcy turned on a dime and rushed back to his beloved friend. His tail wagged so furiously it looked as if the beast was powered by the appendage. He skidded to a stop when he reached his "trainer," and sat at attention at Masen's feet, awaiting his next instruction. Who would have thought that a small boy could command a monster quadruped with a mere glance or quiet utterance. It was amazing to watch. Edward and I saluted the two of them with whoops, whistles and applause. The pair of them ate up the attention, Mini bowing and calling, "Thank you! Thank you!" Mr. Darcy simply drooled and tried to dig a hole to China with his tail as it wagged in the sand.

It was really hot in the shade. This intense heat was unusual for Florida, especially in December. Talk about a heat wave; it had to be at least 93 degrees in the full sun. I'd made Masen's favorite drink and thought that might entice them to come up. It would be dark before too long.

"Why don't my two favorite boys come up and have some of my famous lemonade? You've worked very hard; it's hot as hades out here, and I'm sure you're thirsty."

Edward's son punched the air with his fist just like I'd seen the father do many times, and ran up the path to the condo, his companion hot on his heels. "Come on, D! Bella made our favorite! But no way are you drinking out of my cup again. That was just gross and sneaky. This time you use your bowl, got it? Let's go!"

Edward chuckled behind me, and resisted as I tried to get up from where we sat. "I don't think I was finished with you, Ms.-er, Dr. Swan. Besides, I have a bone to pick with you. I thought I was your favorite boy."

He'd decided it was funny to call me "doctor" since our last conversation on the topic. I'd decided it was funny to refuse to use the same title when addressing him. He didn't find my decision very funny, but that was okay, I didn't really care. I thought it was hilarious. At least it was funny to watch his face scrunch up in a scowl and have him correct me every single time.

I pried myself from his hold and stood, my hands perched on my hips.

"Mr. Cullen! Are you jealous? Of my dog and your own son?"

"Maybe."

"Aw. How cute," I deadpanned, "Seriously, baby? You're jealous? You're not my favorite boy, because you're my favorite man. Better?"

"Marginally so. What treat did you make for your favorite man?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you made the boy child a treat, I think it's only fair that you make the man in your life one, too."

My eyes rolled in their obvious exasperation.

"I thought I was your treat," I teased him ruthlessly, knowing that the pounding of feet would be sounding out in the hall at any moment.

"Mmmmm, you are, but I highly doubt I have time now to even have a nibble." He played with the hem of my skirt, his fingers whispering against my thigh. Looked like the teaser was being teased. Damn him for being so damn hot. Damn him for not living much, much further from the beach so it would take the boy and the dog much, much longer to get back. Damn him for knowing which buttons to push to drive me crazy! Damn him! "Those two will be here-"

Before Edward could finish his sentence the two bound through the door. I was forced to head into the kitchen to serve the lemonade. The damned hot tease on the porch called after me, "Could you pour me a tall glass of your sweet juice, baby? I'm parched."

I glowered at him over my shoulder as I marched to the kitchen. I poured Masen a tall, ice filled tumbler of lemonade. The glass was rimmed with sugar and a lemon wedge. They didn't call me "Little Martha" for nothin'. Darcy got a fresh bowl of icy water with a few lemon slices floating on the top. The mutt lapped at his drink greedily, pausing only to scarf down one of the slices. Masen took a noisy sip of his own drink, making a sour face as he did.

"This is tart, just like I like it, B! The sugar is my favorite part, though. Thanks!"

I took two glasses out to the balcony where Edward still sat. He hummed his thanks as I handed him his and resumed my earlier spot between his bent knees. My arm rested atop his knee, the cold glass of lemonade sweating and dripping down onto his leg. I was mesmerized by the path the tiny drop took along his calf and over his ankle. I had to remind myself to not follow it with my tongue. It was painful. I took a sip of lemonade instead.

Masen's voice rang out, breaking into my PG-13 rated fantasy of licking Edward, "This is the best, B! I bet Reese used to love it when you made this for her, but I guess you didn't know how to make this yet, huh, cuz you were kinda little when she died." I froze. I inhaled my drink, and began hacking and choking on the tart liquid.

"Damn, Mini," Edward gently pounded on my back as I tried to catch my breath, "You sure know how to start a conversation." It took a moment before I could speak again. All the while Edward gently explained to his instantly sorrowful son how some topics had to be worked up to, and that he couldn't just spring something like that on me. Masen's little hand reached out to pat my own.

"Sorry, Bella. I guess I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean anything by it, I swear. I guess this is one of those 'sensitive subjects' Grandma Esme was telling me about last week when she was mad at Uncle Em and me for discussing farts at the table during Cullen Family Sunday dinner. I promise not to bring her up again, I wasn't thinking."

I looked into those deep pools of blue and felt my own eyes tear up. I pulled the little man to me; his head bent to rest on my shoulder. The remorse flowed off him in waves. I tried to reassure him. "Oh, Masen. Please don't feel bad. It’s okay, sweetie. We can talk about her. It just makes me sad when I do." Masen's voice was small and muffled as he spoke into my shoulder.

"I just think about her sometimes, is all. And how sad you get when you play her song. I wonder how she died, and I know I shouldn't ask about that. So I just think." I smoothed his hair, comforting the boy my heart loved so completely.

"Masen, look at me please. Sweetie, it does make me sad to think about her, because I miss her so much and her death was very scary. But I think that if I talk about her then it might get a little easier. Kinda like after I play her song I feel a little better. Would you like to know about her?"

He looked at me not like a child would at an adult, but he straight in the eyes for a very long moment, almost assessing if I was okay to talk about Reese. He must have thought I was, because he answered, "I would. She means so much to you. I've never even seen her picture and you never mention her. We don't have to talk about her, though, if it makes you too sad."

Edward had moved so that we were sitting next to each other. I pulled Mini to sit close to me on my other side. His coppery head went back to my shoulder. I took a deep, steadying breath, and my man, my rock, wrapped his arm around my waist. Somewhere in my mind it registered that I was leaning against his tat of the tiger- his sign. Strong, protective- just like him.

"Theresa was five years younger than me. I was so excited to have someone else in our family. Most kids feel threatened by a new sibling, but I was overjoyed when my parents told me I was going to be a big sister. They even started calling me ’Sissy.’ When Reese came home it was like she was my baby; I took care of every need she had that I possibly could have at five. I rocked her, fed her her bottles, changed her diapers (with my mom's help, of course). I wanted to do everything for her. She was a beautiful baby, soft cornsilk wisps of hair that curled around her head like a halo, and her eyes! Masen, your eyes remind me so much of hers. They were the exact same shade. Sometimes...when I look at you, I almost think I'm looking into her eyes again."

Edward's hand smoothed circles across my back, soothing and reassuring me. Masen smiled sweetly up at me, then shifted to rest his head in my lap; the rest of him curling into a ball. My hands busied themselves in his hair, ruffling then smoothing then ruffling again.

"She was such a good baby. She rarely cried, and I could never spend enough time kissing and cuddling her. If she wanted or needed anything she'd reach for me, and when she started to talk her first 'word' was 'Ssss.' It was really more of a hiss, but that's how she'd call me if she wanted my attention. Before long I was 'Sissy' to everyone. It became my identity, and I was so proud of it.

"As Reese got older she relied on me. I was the one she came to if she fell and hurt herself. 'Sissy, kiss it and make it better,' she'd tell me. When she was scared she'd run to me and hold up her arms for me to pick her up. I can remember her leaning out of our mom's arms to get to me. Amazingly enough, Mom was never jealous of Reese. She was always telling everyone how much work it was to raise two growing, active girls, when really I was the one taking care of myself and Reese for the most part."

"That must have been hard, babe," Edward's kind voice gave me a chance to collect my thoughts, focus my story, "no matter how much you loved her you were just a kid yourself. That's a lot of responsibility to put on a little girl."

"Oh, my dad was there, and Mom did take care of us. She was a good mom, really. Rene was a wiz in the kitchen, and she kept our home spotless. She just really depended on me to care for and help with my sister. It wasn't like I minded, though.

"We dressed alike, just like twins would. We shared a room, Masen. Reese and I. We had matching twin beds. I'd tuck her in each night like a little mommy, then lay next to her in her bed, singing her song until she fell asleep. Then I'd crawl into my bed and scoot all the way over to one side, 'cause I knew she'd wake up at some point and crawl into bed with me. Every night her cold little feet would wake me up when she pressed them against my legs. We'd curl into each other; Reese was like my baby doll and I was her security blanket. You have to remember that I was only nine when she died. Your age."

Up until now, Mini had been silent, only nodding into my lap and chuckling at some of the things I'd shared, "How did she die, B? It’s okay if you don't want to remember that part." Masen sat up quickly. "Should I have asked that?" His little brow creased from worry.

"It's fine, Mini, but thank you for being so careful with my feelings. It's a sad, scary night to remember, but if you want to hear it I'm willing to tell you about it."

"I want to know. I want to be able to understand, B, but I don't want you to be upset." I sighed and MM settled back into my lap. I rested my head on Edward's shoulder, knowing that this was going to be very hard to do. I'd only ever spoken this story out loud once- to my therapist. And that was when I was very small.

"Okay, so every fall we'd all come to Florida to visit Rene's family in St. Augustine. Mom would take me out of school, pack us up and stuff us in the car. Even Dad would save up his leave time to join us. Her parents have both passed on, but Gram and PopPop were very special to us. So we'd drive to Florida from Arizona. Man that was a miserable trip. Two days in a car with two small children is no fun. Especially without A/C. Gram and PopPop were always overjoyed to see us! And they lived to spoil us. Each year, around the time we visited, there was a carnival that came through town. The entire city looked forward to the fair. It had been setting up in the same lot since my mom was a little girl, and she would go every year.

"We'd all go, even Gram and PopPop, and we'd get yards and yards of tickets so we could ride the rides several times. Dad love the spinning ride, the one that squished you against the sides? I think it was called the 'Puke-A-Rama.'” Both of my boys laughed at that. One a deep, velvety bass, the other a sweet, soprano giggle. Mr. Darcy picked his giant mellon of a head up from the floor and cocked to the side as if asking, "What's so funny?"

"Mom and Gram loved the bumper cars. Those two would hobble back with whiplash and complain for days about how much their necks hurt. They were crazy women! None of us would ride when they were on. That was certain death.

"PopPop loved the Ferris Wheel. He said it was like being on top of the world," I said taking a ragged breath. The hard memories were coming too fast. I closed my eyes against the images that I knew were coming. It was a losing battle. "And he was right. There's nothing like sitting at the top of that wheel with the sounds of the fair floating up to where you're sitting, nibbling on cotton candy. You could see all of St. Augustine from the top. We used to ride it together and pick things to look for and count. Sorta like 'I Spy'. Blue baseball caps, ladies in white shorts, crying children, how many times it took a guy to win his girl a prize at the booths... I loved being at the tippy top of the earth with my PopPop next to me.

"The year of my eighth birthday, PopPop passed away. That was the first year I rode the wheel alone. Somebody would have ridden with me if I'd let them, but see, it was so special 'cause we had shared it together. I adored that man. As far as I was concerned, he had hung the moon and stars. And that time in that little bucket was what I looked forward to every year, if I couldn't share it with him then I didn't want to share it with someone else just for the sake of not being by myself. That first year I remember sitting at the top alone thinking that I couldn't wait for Reese to be big enough to ride with me. It took two more years."

The tears fell silently onto my t-shirt, the tiny drops of moisture dotting the cotton and drying quickly in the heat. This was the hard part, the tragedy. But even worse was having to admit my role in Reese's death. The one part that woke me screaming from my nightmares. Mini saw my tears, and grasped my hand. Edward pressed a kiss to my temple. The two gave me what little courage I had to continue and face my demons. I just had to trust that after I confessed my part in my beloved sister's death that they would still love and want me.

"That year, I was turning ten and Reese was five. We squealed when we measured her against the wooden cutout that proclaimed 'You must be This Tall to ride these rides!' She was finally 'This Tall'. She had no idea how tall that was, but she was so excited and proud. So was I.

"We rode all kinds of rides, even the ones I didn't like. I wanted her to have the chance to ride anything she wanted now that she was finally big enough. When we made it to the Ferris Wheel she looked up at it nervously. Who could blame her, she was still very little and it was huge! It took a lot of coaxing, but I got her to go. She really didn't want to. She was scared. Her little hand clung to mine so tightly it hurt. When we sat down and the bucket seat swung a little she whimpered and pleaded with me to let her 'skip just this once.' I laughed and told her she was being silly. But honestly, I felt funny too, like something wasn't right. But I ignored that and I told her to stop being a baby. I was only teasing, but she hated being called a baby, and I knew that. She'd have done anything to keep from being thought of as a baby. So she sat back and clung to me for dear life.

"At some point, as we were going up, there was a loud snapping sound. It sounded like it came from somewhere beneath us. Then the wheel jerked to a stop. Ferris Wheels stop all the time: to let people on and off, to let you get a better view, and to make the ride last longer. I wasn't surprised that we'd stopped, but it wasn't smooth at all, and not what I was used to. Reese was so afraid. She was crying, pleading with me to call down to the man and let her off. She buried her face in my sweater and just cried. She kept telling me that she was scared. I tried to comfort her, but it was useless. The only thing that would help would be to get her down and off the ride.

"It started back up again, and the bucket jerked more violently this time. I remember the loud pop just before our bucket slipped. One of the bolts that held the seat on the frame had snapped on Reese's side. Before I knew what was happening our seat was dangling from its side and Reese was tumbling out of it."

Masen and Edward both gasped. But I had to finish. It was now or never.

"I caught her. Somehow I managed to grab her hand and hold on. I could have probably held onto her until we made it to the bottom again or until someone could help, but the weight was too much for the other bolt and it snapped as well. We both fell. When I regained consciousness there were people all around. Gram and Mom were next to me, but I couldn't see Dad and Reese. I started calling for her, crying her name out over and over again. There was another group of people not far from us. I heard crying and cries for help. When the crowd shifted I saw Dad being restrained by some rescue workers, and then the crowd moved again and I saw what he was trying to get to. The bucket seat was laying there, upside down, with a halo of long, silky blond curls spilling from underneath it. I knew she was gone. I knew she was, or they would have been working faster to help her. I blacked out again then. The next day I woke up with ten pins holding my lower leg together, a broken arm, a punctured lung, and a major concussion. It was a miracle my neck wasn't broken... I guess.

"Years later I learned that Reese had died on impact. Her little neck had broken and she'd been crushed by the seat.

"I was inconsolable in my grief. I cried whenever I was awake to the point where they sedated me, and even then I screamed from the nightmares. I wasn't allowed to attend her funeral. They said I was too badly injured and that I was too young. Too young? How could I have been too young? I wasn't too young when I fed her and cared for her every need at five years old! Why was I too young now? It was like I'd lost my own child.

"Things never were the same again. They stopped calling me 'Sissy.' All of them. I was just 'Bella' again. Every time I heard that name it reminded me that she was gone. They even stopped talking about her. It felt like they'd forgotten about her. Mom and Dad split a few years later. Dad moved to Washington State and Mom moved us here to be near Gram. She's buried here, but I never go. She's not here, not anymore."

I paused to compose myself and blow my nose. Edward kneaded the back of my neck, trying to help me relax. Masen had a death grip on my hand. I gently pried it away and continued to rake through his hair. I couldn't look at them, though. I couldn't risk seeing what I feared most on their faces: disgust, rejection, disappointment. Even after all these years I was still that ten year old little girl who believed with all of her that she had a key role in the death of her beloved sister.

"Didn't you live in Washington with your dad for a while, Bella?" I turned to look at Edward's chest, still afraid to look in his eyes. I nodded.

"Life went on. Mostly. At some point it became too much to live with Mom. It was like I didn't exist now that Reese didn't. So I went to live with Dad when I was sixteen. I stayed there until I was finished with school and my Ph.D. I stayed until I couldn't take the constant rain another second. That's when I moved back here. Mom basically begged me to. She promised things had changed, and they had. But it's still hard."

That's where I stopped. For me that was where the story ended. Truth be told, my story ended the day Reese died. At least I'd wished it had for years and years. Until I met Edward, that is. When he and Masen came into my life all of that changed. I just wished I was good enough for them. How could Edward trust me with Masen now that he knew the truth? Sure I cared for him at school, but that was different than what he wanted from me. Could I nurture a little soul? That question terrified me.

"Bella," his voice was soft, "Bella, please look at me."

"I can't, Edward."

"Please, baby." When I finally met his gaze what I saw took my breath away. All the love he had ever given me shown from he emerald green eyes. I started sobbing. I was so unworthy of that love, and even after all I had told him he still loved me. He didn't have to say it. I could see it as clearly as if he had written the words in the wave-wet sand on the beach below us. He drew me to his chest. Mini sat up and wrapped his arms around us both, and my men held me as I cried. The relief of them knowing everything, reliving the nightmare of my childhood, the raw emotions of everything coming to a head; it all came spilling out of me. When I finally managed to pull myself together I wiped my face and blew my nose. I turned and hugged Masen with all my might, and to the squirt's credit he didn't even squeak from the pressure.

"Hey, buddy? Why don't you get our girl some water?"

"'Kay, Dad," he patted my shoulder and went inside, Darcy right behind him, as usual. Edward encircled me again with his strong arms.

"You okay, baby?" I nodded my "yes." "Thank you for telling us that, Bella. I know that had to be one of the toughest things you've had to do. I'm so proud of you."

"Proud of me?"

"Yeah, what you just did took so much courage. Then again you've proven to me time and time again how strong you are. I just never had any idea you were this strong. I'll never know how you survived that, Bella. Physically or emotionally."

Mini came out with the water then. I sipped it as I watched the younger Cullen watch me drink. I grinned at him, saying, "You make a pretty mean glass of water, little man. Thank you."

"I love you, Bella."

I froze. It was so quiet, more so than a whisper even. Like a feather of a voice. The man child before me had just told me he loved me. And it meant the world, no, the universe, to me. In a heartbeat's time I scooped him towards me and held him close. When I could find my voice I told him what I'd felt from the moment I met him.

"Oh, honey! I love you, too, Masen. So much." We both heard the sniffling at the same time and turned to see the older Cullen swiping at the tears that were flowing freely down his face. He grabbed Mini by the waist and pulled him sideways onto his lap. He crushed him to his chest, and then wrapped an arm around me. We sat like that for a while. Until Edward spoke into the silence, "Mini, I don't want Bella staying by herself in that big house tonight. Not after everything she's been through today. You think it'd be okay if she stayed here tonight?"

Edward was met with questioning looks from both the kid and me. I hadn't stayed over while MM was there yet and I was anxious for his reaction.

"Where would she sleep?"

"Uh, in a bed. Duh!"

"I know that, Dad. Where, though?"

"Well, probably with me."

"Oh, okay. As long as I don't have to sleep on the couch so that she can have my bed, that's fine. I hate the couch."

We both laughed at Masen's rant. As usual the littlest Cullen diffused a very tense, difficult moment. The kid should really consider becoming a hostage negotiator. He was that good.

"Well, now that that's settled, I'm gonna run to Bella's, grab her some clothes and be right back. You think that you and Darcy can take care of our girl while I'm gone? I'll be twenty minutes, tops."

"Sure, Dad. We'll be fine."

"Good. I want you to have had a shower by the time I'm back. Hear me?"

"Okay, okay."

Edward left and Mini hopped in the shower. I straightened up while I waited, to busy my hands and mind. When MM was finished he came in to the living room where I had wandered over to the piano there. He curled up on the couch and listened as I plucked at the keyboard. I was playing a new song that I'd been working with lately. It would come to me at night, when the house was dark and quiet.

I called it "Gravity," and it reflected how I was feeling about Reese's memory lately. I played the first few bars over again before testing my emotion hoarse voice.

"Something always brings me back to you.

It never takes too long.

No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone."

Everything in my life redirected my thoughts to my sister. Regardless of how long I lived on this earth, she'd be a part of me.

"You hold me without touch.

You keep me without chains.

I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain."

But lately it was too much. Her memory was becoming more and more heavy, restraining. I felt like I needed her with me, but that I wasn't living the life I was meant to be living.

"Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.

Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.

But you're on to me and all over me."

Just when I felt like I was doing what was best for me, I'd be hit by a tidal wave of memories, all reminding me that she'd never have this chance. And the old guilt over being the one that took her future from her would rush in, flooding and drowning any good thing.

"I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.

But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.

The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down...."

I sang the last word with all of me. Begging her memory to finally just rest. To let me move on. Not forget, no, I never wanted to forget. I needed her near me. But I yearned to not feel suffocated every time something good came across my path. Yes, I needed her, but not the guilt. My biggest fear was that I wouldn't be able to set myself free from the pull of the responsibility I felt over her death. It was strong and unexpected like the grip of an undertow.

"You're on to me, on to me, and all over...

Something always brings me back to you.

It never takes too long."

When I'd finished, Edward's strong hands rested on my shoulders. I hadn't heard him come in. He pressed his lips to my head.

"Looks like someone was worn out from the day's activities," he motioned to Mini who was fast asleep on the very couch he'd protested against sleeping on earlier. He sat next to me on the bench and I scooted over to give him more room. "That's beautiful, baby. Will you sing it again... for me?"

I did as he asked. When the last notes faded beneath my fingertips I looked at the man I adored, the man I was trying desperately to convince myself that I deserved. He kissed me. With a feather soft touch. This wasn't a kiss of passion, but one of love and acceptance.

"I love you, Bella Swan, and we will all get through this together. You are meant to stand tall. Reese would have wanted that for you. This pull you feel is understandable, but irrational. You can change that, in time." I leaned my head against his shoulder, drawing strength from his words and closeness. "I choose you, you know that, right? I want you. All of you- the good and the bad, the whole and the broken. We choose you. And apparently your beast of a dog, too."

I smiled weakly, but said nothing. Every word I had in me had poured out earlier. I was drained and exhausted. He kissed me again, deeper this time.

"Come on, baby. Let's put our boy to bed. We'll get the munchkin in his bed and then get you tucked in, too."

Later, as I lay in the safety of Edward Cullen's arms, many things rushed through my mind. But most importantly was the reality that I was deeply loved. I so desperately wanted to be worthy of that love. The best I could do is hope that one day I would be.

~oOo~

Chapter 14 Chapter 16