No Place Like Home-Halloween Outtake

A week before Halloween.

How the fuck did I get talked into this shit?! I am NOT wearing that. No. Way!

My son, my twin, my sister-in-law, and my soon-to-be brother-in-law all stood in my living room looking at the monstrosity that my fucktard brother held up in his hands. Beaming from ear to ear, he proclaimed proudly, "It's here, Eddie-boy! Your costume just arrived! Try it on!" He shoved the yards of cheap fake fur into my arms as well as a pair of "paws" and booties for my feet.

"I'm NOT wearing that, Emmett! So you can pack it all up and send it back. How much did this shi- uh, crap cost, anyway?" I shoved the costume back at him, and I could see my son's little body shaking from struggling to contain the giggles. His hand pressed tightly over his mouth. I looked over at Alice. Yep, she was fighting the laughter back, too. In fact, it seemed that everyone in the room, minus myself, thought this was funny. Very fucking funny. "I fail to see the humor in this. Why this costume, Em? And you still haven't answered me about how much this little 'bet' is going to set me back!"

"Loosen the hell up, Edwardo! I made you a lion 'cause you stalk around, growling at everyone, just like a fucking lion. It is funny! And not that much. It was a steal at $349! Stop being a 'pussy' and try on the lion costume! Oh! And don't forget your head!"

He piled the various pieces back into my unwilling arms and then plunked a giant, stuffed head over my own. Good thing I'm not fucking claustrophobic! It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the change in light.

I stalked off to my room where I chucked the lion costume onto the bed, freeing my hands to remove the head. I turned it to look more closely at it. It was hideous, but that was kind of the point, I guess. I had lost the bet, after all, and that meant that Emmett got to choose my costume for Alice's Halloween party. If I had only known then that this would be how I'd have to pay up, I'd have never agreed to the terms. It all seemed harmless enough at the time....

We'd been talking about the party and helping Alice as was expected of the entire clan. Mom and Dad contributed by allowing her to use the house and giving her free rein in decorating, as long as everything found its way back to where it belonged. The guys were the muscle, nothing more than pack mules and heavy lifters. The girls did all the decorating and planning.

The topic of discussion had drifted to who was dressing up as what this year. Alice announced that she was going as a sexy lady bug, whatever the hell that was. Rose's costume was no surprise: the queen of hearts. Jasper couldn't choose between being a ninja or the classic comic book characterization of Wolverine. Emmett announced that he would be going as Super Man. This sparked a heated discussion, because Em always made his Halloween costumes himself. Always had. He had very strong opinions on the matter: "What's the point in dressing up if you didn't make your own costume? Half the fun is coming up with the what and the how of it all!"

We all took bets whether Alice would let him wear his after she saw what he had planned. It was classic Emmett, but Alice had her standards on what constituted costumes and what was just plain fuckery. Now that I had seen my costume, I was beginning to think I'd been set up. It was too late to back out now, though. A bet was a bet, but I'd be dammed if I was putting on that sad excuse for a lion a second before I absolutely had to. That meant no fashion show. Period.

Masen had recently acquired an obsession with the Pirates of the Caribbean, as they were studying the score in school for extra credit. He was planning a Jack Sparrow costume with his Aunt Alice that would rival Johnny Depp's. He was so proud of it. He'd gone to school and told all his friends about it, even yammering away to Bella about it during their lessons. Bella was so adorable, at their last lesson she told him that she had a surprise for him and took out a little white box with a black bow tied neatly around it. I rested against the piano to get a better view and wondered how women did that shit. When he opened the box he found a small glass vial, about four inches tall, filled with dirt that hung from a leather cord.

"Jack's jar of dirt! How cool, Miss B! It’s perfect! Thank you!" Mini flung his arms around the neck of his beloved teacher and friend.

"I'm glad you like it, Little Man. You think it will go okay with your costume?"

I loved how she had her own list of nicknames for my son. When it was just Bella and me she would refer to us both as her "men." My heart would swell with pride each time she did.

"Oh, Miss B! It’s great! Everyone knows that Jack needs his jar of dirt! I'm gonna wear it now, okay?"

Bella smiled lovingly, "Of course! It’s your jar of dirt, wear it whenever you want!"

Masen hugged her once more in thanks, "I wanna wear it now!" He slipped it over his head, lifting the jar to admire his newfound treasure. That tiny jar of dirt found a new home on a tack that Masen stuck in his wall next to his bed that night. There it hung, safe until he could wear it on Halloween.

~oOo~

Halloween was a busy day. I barely had time to text Bella, much less call her. It was killing me that I wouldn't be able to have her here at the party with me. She'd mentioned that she had a party to attend, and I figured it was for the best, seeing as we couldn't really have been together at Alice's. For the first time since Bella and I started dating I was sorry that we had kept us a secret. I was not looking forward to getting through this night without her by my side.

Thank goodness for that retarded costume Emmett picked for me. Hopefully its shapeless form and massive head would save me from being recognized much and keep the vultures at bay. The vultures being my sister's single, overly eager friends.

Unfortunately, I'd be wearing the getup to take Mini trick-or-treating too. I hoped I wouldn't sweat too much in the damned thing. After we came back from collecting all the treats the neighborhood held, Mini and his grandparents packed up and went to stay at our condo for the night. This wasn't a kids' party by any means, and it was nice that Mom and Dad would watch him so the big kids could play. Grandma Esme and Papa Carlisle loved taking their sole grandchild anytime, but Dad practically ran from the house in anticipation of helping Masen sort through his candy and treasures. They had a long standing "secret" arrangement where Dad would make a special pile and buy anything that Masen didn't want for fifty cents. My son, the entrepreneur, at nine.

All the decorations had been put up, the fog machines where puffing away, and those stupid, heavy as hell statues were finally in place. Only after the guys refused to move them anymore. Alice must have changed her mind seven times before ordering them back to the first location they'd started in. Disturbingly realistic dead bodies were strategically located through the place as well as a multitude of dismembered parts and innards. The black lights were lit, as well as the shit load of candles that Alice had set out. That made me wonder if my costume was flame retardant. I did have a full body suit of fur and a tail that I had to be mindful of. This night was a disaster waiting to happen, I could feel it.

The costume was working in my favor. I was determined to stick to myself that night and it seemed to be providing the perfect cover for me until I noticed my family and a small crowd of people I knew huddled around the base of the staircase. Thanks to the limited visibility of the lion head, I couldn't see who everyone was, but they were all focused on something or someone on the stairs. Then that someone stood up quickly and caught one of the onlookers in a bear hug. The stupid mask made it hard to see anything; it looked like my brother Emmett doing the hugging but I couldn't see the poor creature he was crushing. Then he stepped away from them, keeping his arm around whoever "them" was. I strained to make out the features through the damned mask. I kept turning my head from side to side to see which eye hole I could see out of better.

Suddenly, she was in perfect focus. My breath caught in my chest. I almost choked. Bella. Damn, she looked hot. I'd never seen her like this, purposely dressed to kill, so to speak. She always looked amazing to me, but this was different. She was wearing thigh-highs for crying out loud! I watched as she interacted with my family. Oh shit!! She was talking to my family! It took extreme self control to not rush over to where my girl was being accosted by my gorilla of a brother, in his Calvin’s, no less! I was going to knock him on his ass for that. But, with the exception of Alice and Jazz, they had no idea that Bella was with me. Forcing myself to stay where I was and just watch her interact with them, I realized that I had nothing to worry about. She took care of herself, and from the looks of things, she was not only giving it to Emmett as hard as he was to her, she was even winning over Rose.

Emmett and Rose walked off, soon followed by the Blacks. Alice led Bella off to some other room in the house, and I watched as long as I could from where I stood, taking in every inch of that Wizard of Oz costume she was wearing. My own attire came to mind. Sure, I had on a ridiculous lion mascot costume, but I'd chosen to go with the bare minimum to keep cool in the too hot, fake acrylic fur, fiery death suit: boxer briefs and a wife beater. Hell, it wasn't like anyone was going to know; I could be naked in here and no one would know.

It was a little stalkerish, but I decided to watch Bella as she wandered the house. Alice gave her a brief tour, then, to my surprise, Alice just walked away from her. It wasn't long before other guests approached her; one was a woman I knew to be a friend of my sisters. They'd actually tried to set us up once. Jenn was her name, I thought. Yeah, Jenn was right. She walked right up to Bella and introduced herself. I remembered that she was sweet girl, always willing to help out and easy to talk to. She had on a cute sexy kitty costume and fishnet stockings. The stilettos she wore made her much taller than I remembered her being; although, our one and only date had been to a local zoological park, The Alligator Farm, and she had worn sneakers then. I really liked her, I'd fully intended on asking her out again, but that was when I'd met Bella. My whole life changed the moment that happened. It was uncomfortable calling her, telling her that I enjoyed our date and her company, but that I didn't know how much I could dedicate to a relationship right now. She understood, but I still felt bad about not being entirely honest with her. I couldn't give her the whole story, either, though, not with Bella and me being a secret and all.

My attention returned to the two women talking just out of my earshot. Both beautiful. One could have been my future, one most definitely was. Both pulled out their phones, and exchanged them, I assumed to enter their numbers for each other. I grinned at Bella's ability to easily meld into her surroundings, even when they were unfamiliar. After swapping phones again, they shared a brief girlie hug and Jenn went on her way, leaving Bella looking around again.

At first Bella looked a little lost, but a serene look overcame her face as she noticed the doors leading out to the back lawn. She stepped out into the night, closing the door behind her. I needed to be closer to her. I slipped off the mask, so I could better see where I was going, and headed out after her through a different door. I still wasn't ready to go to her yet. Part of me wondered why she hadn't sought me out. For a brief second a wave of panic washed over me, that, maybe, she didn't want to find me. But I knew better than that. There was another reason, and I would find out what it was, but for now I was content to watch her move about the spaces I had grown up in, called home for nearly two decades.

Bella stood at the edge of the property looking out over the beach to the waves beyond. From where I lurked around the corner of the pool house I had a perfect view of her. The ocean breeze blew her hair back off her shoulders and teased the layers of her almost non-existent skirt. She was going to get cold out there before too long. I wondered what she was thinking, and for the millionth time I wished I could read her mind. Just to catch a glimpse of what she mused and dreamed about. For the longest time she just stood there, arms hanging relaxed at her side, her chest heaving from the deep breaths she took.

After a while she slowly opened her eyes, scanned the dark vista around her and slowly turned back to the house. She made her way around the pool and inside. I slipped my lion head back on and followed her through the kitchen. There was something sensual about following her this way; keeping an eye on her when she had no idea I was watching. When I closed the door behind me I heard the soft clicking of heels on tile in my mother's darkened laundry room. I stepped in the doorway to see who would be in there and came face to mask with Bella. She apologized for running into me, and moved to step around me. I tried to get out of her way only to have her side-step in the same direction. We did this several times. Her nearness and the glimpses of skin that costume afforded had me uncomfortably hard. I had a feeling my mother wouldn't appreciate me bending Bella over her washer and having my way with her. I moved to the side to allow her to pass. I had an unfair advantage of being able to tell who was in her costume. I felt Bella tense, not knowing who it was in the suit that had her momentarily cornered. She squeezed past me, pressing against the straining bulge in my boxer briefs. A moan escaped before I could stifle it.

Bella's face flashed a series of emotions: shock, fear, and disgust. I couldn't stand her looking at me like that, even if she didn't know it was me she was glaring at. I called her name, my voice thick with lust and warning. She acted as if she didn't know it was me, and actually demanded that I prove my identity to her! Well, two could play coy. Without thinking, I lifted her easily; placing her on the washer I had her pinned against. It was stifling in the ridiculous bobble head, as she kept referring to it. I lifted it just enough to get some air circulating and hoped she could better hear my answer. I paused to think of the perfect hint to give her so she'd know without a doubt that it was me in the dork suit: "Sky Dancer." Her face immediately registered the significance of the name she'd given her vibrator. Recognition and passion flared on her face almost instantaneously. The need in her eyes registered in my erection, and I needed to get out of the mask. Immediately. I lifted it to perch on my head like a massive hat, and when our eyes met it was like that first day in her classroom all over again. I needed her, like the air that was rushing from my lungs. My heart pounded and thudded against my rib cage. She was going to be the death of me in this get-up, and I told her as much. She seemed genuinely surprised when I told her I didn't know that she'd be attending the party.

Alice. She'd set us up. And she would pay, later. Right then I had more pressing matters to attend to, like Bella's very delicious breasts staring me pretty much in the fucking eyes. I couldn't take my eyes off them, even as we spoke in breathy tones about how naughty my girl was. She'd purposely dressed to tease me, knowing full well that I'd be unable to act on the feelings she'd ignite in me. Damn this secret relationship and damn the sexbargo! She was not leaving this room without moaning my name. I swore to it.

"Ughh.... Bella, that was very- mean. You are a fucking meany. Now what the hell am I supposed to do with these?" I showed the useless paws I had for hands. The little minx pressed them firmly to her chest.

"I don't know.... Paw me?"

I flung the paws off, tossing them onto the floor, taking care to replace my hands where she had wanted them. She moaned, loudly, and begged for more. Each word reverberated from her chest into my hands, along my arms and shooting straight to my cock. Not to mention she wasn't wearing a bra, the thin material of her top being the only thing keeping me from really feeling my Bella. I savored this moment right before I touched her skin with my own. I toyed with the ruffle along the top and the elastic there. I could so very easily have her exposed before me with a gentle tug, but I wanted to tease us both a little longer. She whimpered and her breath caught each time she thought I might actually touch her. When I couldn't stand it any longer I dipped beneath the fabric to feel the silk of her pillow soft skin. We both gasped at the skin to skin contact.

"More?" I needed to know she was okay with this. I searched her eyes for my answer as I caressed and teased the swell of her breasts.

"Please, more." She was begging. Begging for me to touch her, to love her. When she finally touched me it was to remove the lion head, and she chucked it to the floor. At once, her hands were laced in my hair, which was still damp from the shower I'd had the foresight to take earlier. I assured her I wasn't a sweaty mess.

"I couldn't care less, get over here." Roughly, she pulled me closer, and guided my mouth down to hers. Our tongues met, swirling over each other; tasting, teasing. My hands mimicked the motions of our mouths, felling the peaks pebble up under my fingers. Hungrily I kneaded the soft flesh.

Bella cried out. Fucking cried, and then moved closer to me, edging closer to the edge of the appliance I'd set her on. Her glorious legs wrapped around my hips, pulling me to her, encircling me in a delicious vise. Her hands pulled and raked at my hair, her mouth panted breathlessly into mine. I may have had on a full bodysuit of fur, but I could feel the heat from her core as she drew me against her. She ground her hips against mine and I moaned as our bodies sought friction. I grabbed her ass, grabbing fistfuls of skirt and that red tutu thing she had on, but effectively stopping her devilish movements. She had me panting in need. "Bella.... What do you think you’re doing?"

"Making out with my boyfriend. What's it look like to you?"

"It looks like you're about to start something you can't finish." I knew she wasn't ready for our agreement to end here, now, like this. I tried to make her see reason; all she saw was a challenge.

"Says who? Just kiss me, Edward. Don't be such a cowardly lion." She boldly reached between us and palmed me through the suit.

I kissed her hard. Claiming her. Possessing her. I pulled hard on her hips, grinding and rubbing against her as I did. She clutched at my hips and back, trying to get closer still. At this pace I was gonna need a change of clothes. Not to mention some embarrassing care instructions for the dry cleaners. Briefly I wondered if cum was easily removed from fake fur...

My hands explored the body of the woman I had denied myself of for longer than I cared to remember. They caressed her legs, and the feel of the silk of the stockings over the silk of her skin was sinful. The warmth we were building was painfully lacking, but better than nothing, but I was needy and wanted more. My hands smoothed up her thighs and around to her ass where they longed to feel the firm flesh of her bottom. What they found was very unexpected: ruffles. Rows and rows of ruffles.

"Ugh.... Ruffles, Bella? You have ruffles on your ass?"

"Uh, huh. They're blue." She would be my undoing! Bella's hips continued to rub and tease, my thrusts matching her every move. I had two choices. The first: take here then and there; tear a hole in the front of this sad excuse for a costume and plow into her as she teetered on the edge of my mother's washing machine with a house full of Halloween guests. Not the ideal way to end the sexbargo, but effective nonetheless. Or the second: hell, I didn't have another choice, at least not one I could see. I drew her to me, crushing her to me, desperate for a moment to think.

"Damn, Bella! You are trying to kill me, aren't you?" She stilled in my arms, and wrapped me in a tender embrace. Here in her arms I felt peace.

"No, baby, I'm not trying to kill you. I need you."

I pulled back just enough to be able to look at her. "I need you, too."

"Then show me," she demanded as she crushed her mouth to mine again, tasting and teasing with her tongue. I never had a chance. A groan rumbled deep in my chest as I relented to her, her full lips smoothing over the tender skin as she bit and raked at with her teeth. I needed to feel her, have my hands on her. The top of her costume complied as I stretched it down, exposing the creamy flesh and pink tips of her nipples. The sight of her bare was one I would never grow tired of. To feel the weight of her as I cupped each perfect mound was heaven, and I was dying to feel how wet she was. She had to be wet; the panting and keening told me as much. Bella's hands were once again in my hair, and she guided my mouth to her breast. I imagined what I would be doing if my mouth were tasting another part of her anatomy. With each suckle and lick my hips would thrust and gyrate against the heat that radiated from between her thighs. We were lost in the feel of each other. I was so busy trying to figure out how to get out of the lion suit without breaking our physical connection, I didn't notice when a figure stood in the doorway- watching us. I heard him before I noticed him.

"Well, well, well.... What have we here? Don't stop on my account." The voice was maniacal- not at all friendly- and I know just who the fuck it belonged to: James Huntington.

What the fuck?

I pressed closer to Bella, not just to protect her modesty, but to protect her from this asshole standing in the doorway.

"What the fuck do you want, J? There's nothing to see here." I could feel Bella shivering against my chest. I wasn't sure if she was cold or afraid.

"I beg to differ. I think there's plenty to see, but I know when I'm not wanted. Some people these days still think three's a crowd, though I don't see their point at all. What do you two think?" His head turned to gaze squarely at my girl.

"I think you need to take your pervert self and get the fuck out like Edward told you to."

I guess that answers my question if she was scared. Ugh, I love this woman!

"Ahhh, a feisty one, huh? Well, Dorothy, just remember if he gets to be too predictable for you, just click your heels together three times and say 'There's no place like home!' Then come find a real man." The nerve of this prick tickler! Speaking to my woman that way!

Who the fuck does this guy think he is? I say he's a dead fucker, that's who!

My temper flared and I felt like I was about to explode- not in a good way, either. "Like you have any clue what it takes to make a real man, you jackass! You have exactly three seconds to back the fuck off and get off the premises before I call the cops. You know damn well you aren't welcome here. Three..." James made no attempt to move, pissing me off even more. "You had BEST start backtracking, dumb fuck, or do you need help? I'm sure my brothers would love the chance to escort your sorry sack of shit out of here! TWO...!"

Like the coward he is, James turned tail and ran. Part of me was disappointed the fucker hadn't tried something more. I would have loved an excuse to plow my fist into his nose and hear the satisfying crunch of cartilage as I rearranged his ugly ass face. It would have been fun to have my brothers remind that guy just how welcome he was here, but Bella was my priority, and she was still shivering against me. I tried to comfort her as she asked me who he was. I desperately wanted her to forget him, forget that she'd ever seen him. "That's James. James Huntington. He's a pecker head. Just try to forget about him, we all try to."

The mood was broken. I wanted better for her than this anyway. I reveled in the feel of her as I helped her down off the washer. We snuck her into a nearby bathroom to make sure she was presentable before heading back to the party. She never stopped amazing me. Alice, thinking she was being funny, I'm sure, "introduced" us to one another. Simply saying, "Dorothy this is the Cowardly Lion. CL this is Dorothy." We made a show of exchanging real names and shaking hands. Well, she had a hand; I still had stupid plush paws. I lifted the mask to she could see my face as we made our introductions. The customary, "Nice to meet you's," were shared while lusty glances were shot between us. Even with all that shit with James and dealing with the tards that were my family members, she still managed to sneak in teasing touches and gropes all night long. An ass grab here, an inappropriate rub or grind there, and countless smoldering looks. We even squeezed a dance or two in. She had me dealing with two tails all night long. One affixed to the back of my costume, the other uncomfortably at the front.

I filled my brothers in about James crashing the party and they, too, seemed genuinely disappointed that the situation hadn't required more of a physical intervention to expel him from the premises. Drinking and idiocy led to fuckery courtesy of Emmett. Nothing a set of box cutters and a few castration jokes couldn't fix. Still, he was a tard.

I told the crew that I was going to walk Bella to her car and go home, but I ended up following Bella and staying the night. Nothing happened. Besides me getting blue balls. As we drifted off to sleep my phone buzzed on the bedside table with a text message. I opened it up- it was from- Bella? There on the screen of my phone was the beautiful woman curled against my chest, but in a very suggestive pose. Bent over, her ass to the camera, showing those delicious blue ruffles peeking out from the red tutu and her mile long legs. If I could just see those amazing breasts, then this picture would be perfect! She must have sent it when she was in the bathroom a few moments earlier. I marveled at the woman sleeping beside me.

The thought crossed my mind, Well, that stupid fucker James had one thing right, "There's no place like home."

Little Edwardo twitched in hopes of making it "home."

No go, mister. At least not tonight.

This Ride we were on had definitely gotten wilder.

~oOo~

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